Seven Top Tips From Mums to Mums
It’s Maternal Mental Health Week and at Aberlour we support mothers to be and mums struggling with anxiety, depression and isolation in pregnancy and up to their baby is one year old. Our support helps mums by matching them to a perinatal befriender who is there to listen and support them like a friend in Forth Valley and East Lothian. We also organise Caring Café’s. Here our mums can meet face to face and connect with each other, sharing advice and realise they are not alone.
To celebrate ‘Shining The Spotlight On Support’ day as part of Maternal Mental Health Week 2023 our mums wished to share their seven top tips to other mums.
1.No sleep is hard.
Whilst you and your baby work out a routine, your sleep may feel non-existent. Night feeds and unsettled nights whilst teething is hard but they don’t last forever. Try and sleep whilst baby is sleeping. If family and friends offer to let you sleep, take this offer if you can. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with sleep advice from your health visitor. Don’t beat yourself up if you abandon the bedtime routine and let baby in bed for an easy night. Do what you need to do for you.
2. Take all offers of support if you can.
If your friends and family want to help, don’t be afraid to take them up on that offer. If they want to make you dinner, help with the housework or do the school run – let them. We aren’t superhuman and we often put so much pressure on ourselves when we could benefit from the support. Take people up on their kind offers as they want to help.
3. Don’t compare yourself to other mums.
Everyone is keen to share their experiences of being a mum and sharing their little one’s achievements. Everyone’s journey is unique. Remember that you are doing a great job and what people may show on social media isn’t always true. All babies develop at different stages. If you are worried or concerned about your baby or you, speak to your health visitor who will be able to direct you to appropriate support.
4. Meet other mums and parents.
As much as you love your baby and being a parent can be very rewarding, it can also be very isolating. If you feel lonely or would like to meet other parents, check out local groups in your area or join a club. Talking to other parents can ease your mind as you share experiences and stories of parenthood. Speak to your health visitor if you would like information on groups in your area.
5. It’s ok not to be ok
Remember some days will be more difficult than others. Some days will feel like you are nailing it and then the next day you may feel that things are difficult. It is important to remember if you feel that your mental health is declining and you feel things are becoming more difficult reach out and speak to friends, family or your partner if you have one. If you are worried about your mental health speak to your GP or health visitor. There are also many helplines and online sites that are free and confidential.
6. Feeding is best
There is lots of guidance on breast is best, but if you are struggling with breast feeding and want to try formula, do what you feel is right. Don’t beat yourself up if you had a plan to breastfeed and this must change. Your baby is being fed whether bottle or breast and that’s all that matters.
7. Me time
Having time out for yourself is important. Whether it’s a bubble bath, a hot shower, or time at the gym, allowing yourself time ‘me time’ is important. It’s not selfish, you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking the time to do it and you should prioritise it. If you feel relaxed and have a break away from your little ones, you will feel refreshed and like you have reset your batteries. Remember you had interests and hobbies before your little one so don’t feel guilty about keeping those up if you wish to.
By speaking out and sharing their own experiences our mums want other mums to know they are not alone. Together we can support one another. Maternal mental health matters.